Studying Optometry at CEU.
Feels Odd To Be Back Here [Manila] :S
Still haven’t got enough of home? Or this is a “early homesickness”.
This morning I left CDO without even hugging and kissing me mom and dad. Then I have a feeling that I’m not all prepared and excite to leave CDO —unlike before. Then I don’t exactly like my day today. It’s just so awkward being back here :’( Kung pwede lang bumalik ng CDO ulit
Sa Aming Munting Probinsya …
Gusto ko ng maligo sa malamig na spring! We’re going to Binoangan Spring. SWIM! ♥ Hot summer really. I’ll be back in Manila on May 30. Can’t wait to see my friends.
My Summer Back Home —CDO.
Grabe, walang wifi. Kaya wala din akong updates. Makapaginternet man, di naman katagalan. Basta lang maka post ng konting pictures at makapag update ng status. It’s also almost June, and I don’t know when I’ll be back. Me no load also, kaya me no text. Me so out of the online civilization. Just posting this for now. Be posting more, when it’s back-to-school :)
If you have learned genuinely, you will pass the final test —applying what you have learned.
10 KEYS TO COLLEGE SUCCESS
“Pursue Knowledge with Commitment”
Quote from 10 KEYS TO COLLEGE SUCCESS by E.S. Leung-Yao. Beautiful book and really helpful.
April 6, 2012: It’s 4:30 in the afternoon and I’m still in camp. We just finished session, and something happened awhile ago. I really hate being so emotional. Honestly, I feel scared now.
After lunch, the campers were given time to sleep and some of the staff (which includes me) watched a Christian film entitled, “The Hidden Secret”. But I just slept in the session hall where they watched the film. Then, suddenly somewhere a camper was yelling and caught my attention and was yelling because their flag was taken away from them. I had lots of thoughts in my head; I was reminded of the old me who cried hard because our flag (which I guarded with all my heart) was taken by one of the staff. So I was really burdened about what happened. And before the session started I shared to them my experience and my thoughts. Knowing myself, sometimes when I’m too emotional I don’t know what I’m saying already.
After I talked to the campers, I realized something, I did something wrong. Though my motive at first is so that they would remember that when they are outside this camp, people are not the same. People look at us with our actions; if whether or not they’d coincide with our words. And I shared to them what I read from 10 Keys to College Success. It says, “Things outside are beyond our control, but how you react towards them is within your reach”.
After I talked, so we had praise and worship. After that, God made me see my mistake. I should have talked to the camper first before I talked to the whole camp. I really have no intention of putting the camper to shame, but then I should have given it more thought and I should have consulted the Camp Director about it. So after the session, having realize my mistake I said sorry to her. I don’t know if she meant what she said, if “it’s okay”.
I’d just trust in God on what will happen next. Also during the session the speaker said something about being sober. Was I too emotional that I’ve said/did something wrong?
So this is really about decision making. Think over things before acting.
Leader’s Camp (Good Friday)
Today is a Good Friday, and I’m at High Ridge now. Leaders Camp started yesterday, April 5 (Thursday). I’d say it’s different when you’re the staff. All the time is yours. I remember back when I was a camper I’d always cram-up when I’m in the bathroom so I’d be finish after lights out, now I could take all the time taking a bath after lights out. I even ate after lights out, so I was able to enjoy God’s blessing. Not that I wasn’t able to enjoy my food before, but the experience is different.
But not because I am a staff I don’t learn anything from this. I could say, I am more confident in facing people when on stage. Well though I’m not ashamed being in front, I still become nervous. But last night, once again I was assigned to lead the worship, and usually during the exhortation, I can’t put up my ideas together, I mean, God has guided me on how to put up the ideas together. Indeed, I’ve seen God work in me, little by little.
It’s not bad to be cheerful and friendly, but I think I was just too noisy before. I see myself before from the campers. Now I’m thinking, what I’ve done before, does that even glorify God? Is it even good to look at when you are shouting and acting as though you have no discipline of yourself? Yeah, it’s good to laugh and have fun, but too much of it? Nuh-uh. I just think, you could be cheerful in some other way. In a way that is pleasing to God. I think self-control is how you call it.
With all this year of attending camp, I think I’ve learned self-control. But what I have observed is that I’m quite tactless; I’m not careful with my use of words. I speak in front of the campers (during worship), but what is my way of speech when I am not in front of them? Are they even pleasing to God?
I think that all for now. More of God’s revelation maybe later :)
Leaders Camp is near and everybody is preparing for it. Busy week, but praying that all this we are doing would be for God’s glory and not only for ourselves.
This camp would be to strengthen the youth of our local church to share the Gospel and be Unashamed of God’s love. Looking forward for Thursday, April 5-7. For now I have to leave and work at our clinic.
Back Home!
Next semster I’m going to be a proper student and it is still my daily struggle to wake up early and prepare for work at our clinic. It is somewhat my mom’s requirement for me to work at the clinic so I could be trained. To tell you honsetly, I’m bad at the sales department; don’t know how to talk/convince the patient about which frame to buy. That’s why I don’t like going there.
Anyway, yesternight we had prayer meeting and, of course, we attended. There were only a few of us. And God has made me realize a lot of things. First of all, I AM SUCH A SELFISH PERSON.
The one who gave the message was Sister Nieves Piapes. The topic was from a book written by Charles Spurgeon about prayer (forgot the title). The title of yesternight’s topic was “The Golden Key to Prayer”. There were three points under this 1. Prayer is Commanded 2. An answered promise 3. Encouragement to faith. But what she discussed last night was 2. An answered promise.
Jeremiah 33:3 “Call unto me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”
Almost every word from the book had sliced me bad last night. It says, “God is miraculous. But we only see this when our physical problems are answered.” We sometimes forget that God doesn’t look at the physical but the spiritual. It is really wrong to say that a person will never change because God can change a person, most specially wrong if you’re a Christian and you said that. You don’t trust God if you say that. Who is your god if you say you cannot change, when you know that GOD can do the impossible?
See, once when I was in Manila, I really have doubted if I would still change. I always face this when my tita and my mom scolds me. I am often scolded of the same things and so the reason of doubting if I would still be able to change. I’ve forgotten what I’ve said before, which is, “You just wait, God is not finished with me yet.” Well I need a lot of molding and repairing to do, specially me being a stubborn one.
Another thing that strucked me last night is, “Prayer is to be offered according to GOD’S WILL. God doesn’t give us LITERALLY what we ask for.” This past few weeks what I’ve been thinking about is why does my parents not allow me to stay in a dorm. I really can’t understand why, when I’m already praying hard for it since last semester, but until now nothing happened. “NOTHING HAPPENED? Maf, are you sure?” God might want to ask me. Have a second look; look through it in God’s perspective.
Now I see clearly why. First of all, my family (mom & dad) has always been praying for our relatives so that they’d recieve Christ as their Lord and Savior. Part of those relatives is the aunt where I’m staying at and another uncle. These two are really one of the most stubborn when it comes to talking about Christ. But guess what, my aunt is talking to me about putting my trust in God so I won’t be a rebel and stuff this and stuff that, and the other month my uncle was asking my cousin for a Bible!
Second, I’ve been asking God to teach me how to trust in Him and do as He wills, but I was too blinded by my physical need/want —to stay in a dorm. Indeed God has taught me how to trust in Him by reversing what want was I praying for. He didn’t allow me to stay in a dorm so that I’d trust in Him. If you ask for a rose and God gives you a thorn instead, it is for you to see, know and understand that God’s grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 9:12).
I’ve always said in my prayers, “God, I’m so tired of travelling everyday. Coming home late, still doing my house chores, then my assignments.” But then God teaches me that His grace is enough to sustain me in this kind of lifestyle. God teaches me to be fully dependent on Him.
My problem is I looked at it in a wrong perspective (just like how I looked through the microscope once).
With this I thank God for the realizattion He gave me. :)
I’m just gonna sleep tonight, then tomorrow I’ll be home.
Lots of things bothering me. Anyway, since I’ll be home tomorrow, I can’t post for like two months something cause there’s no internet in our house, not unless I go to a computer shop or I happen to be in a house with wifi. So saying my goodbye’s for now. I’ll just be posting about my summer when I come back.
